BY: Deborah Levine-Powell, The Soulful Wonder Chef
The definition of change is: make or become different; the act or instance of making or becoming different.
I always tell myself, you cannot pray and worry…you have to choose one of them! I am not Ms. Religious, so no sermons here. If I have left it to God that I cannot continue to worry, I feel that my prayers won’t work (make sense?).
Well, that is obviously easier said than done! If you know me, you know I am not one for change. I have lived in the same place for 39 years; been with the same man and at the same job for 20+ years. Yep, change doesn’t come easy!
I was thrown for a whirlwind in February 2018. I have been told many times before my place of employment would be closing for a variety of reasons. Over the 20 years, we always made it over that hump. Some can say I became complacent. But, my career at HCK afforded me an opportunity for flexibility that is bar none. I got to be everything I wanted to be and earn a paycheck.
Imagine my surprise when I found out for sure in May 2018, that this was really it, we were closing and we had a date. I literally felt like a truck had hit me. My heart was racing and my head was pounding. I felt like I could not breathe. I could not take my own advice, which I have always given so freely.
What was I going to do?
How would I pay my bills or take care of my kids?
I was in full-on PANIC.
Why am I so opposed to change? It takes a lot to look within and figure this out. I certainly am no expert, and if you came to this article looking for answers, please let me know where you find them because I need them too!
Change is about confronting the unknown, the unpredictability. That is a scary place to be at in your life.
I like the idea of certainty, of knowing the next steps. But, maybe if we change our thinking, if we see all change even negative change, as a way to start new beginnings. Change as a chance to renew and reinvigorate our lives, to do the things we have always been too busy to do. I tried to change my mindset, as I often do for my clients. I need to practice what I preach. The shifting and changes in life can produce greater outcomes than imagined. Maybe this is an opportunity and I just don’t know it yet!
The safe thing to do is to take one of the many jobs I have been offered already, without even applying. Normally, that would be the answer. I always do what is right or what is a safe decision, with a measured outcome. I know I need a paycheck but, what if for once, just once, I chose my peace and sanity over worry?
I am taking a leap of faith! I am going to wing it. I am going to put my hand into a few different options, and see where it leads me.
We don’t have to be in control of every aspect of our lives.
I hope in my next blog I can share my epiphany (that will remain to be seen).
Deborah Levine-Powell is a psychotherapist in New York, where she works with teenage girls who are victims of abuse and trafficking. She is a wife and a mom to a tween and teenager. When she is not working, you can find her engaged in PTA activities, a leader at Girl Scouts, having fun with her friends and family, while serving up hot soulful dishes in the kitchen.