Blogger: Debbie Arace – “Ray of Sunshine, Hope & Laughter”
Life presents opportunities to us on a daily basis. We decide through the choices we make whether we will reach for them or let them slip away. I’m not talking about monetary opportunities. Money is nothing more than currency that we use as a life preserver. It’s a necessary evil that holds our heads underwater hoping to drown the best of us. I’m talking about opportunities, not of a lifetime, but in a lifetime. Opportunities to learn, to grow, to explore and experience the gifts that were put on this earth for each of us to partake in. Golden opportunities where we find treasures valued more than money. These treasures are found through our perception of life.
We are all born with our own perception. What we see and how we see it teaches us about ourselves. Part of human nature is to take our perception and try to project what we see through our lens into the vision of others. We are our own directors of the film that plays before our eyes. We exchange our points of view and we learn from one another. This exchange can be productive or destructive. It’s all depends on what our intent is. Intent is a desire or plan to accomplish something. Our perception of what we see and our intention for bringing what we see into action will either have a positive or negative effect. It depends on our motive of intent. We develop our character based on perception and intent. My intent at this moment is to project my perception of happiness, fulfillment and coping onto the screen.
For as far back as I can remember, I knew I had a different perspective on life than those around me. I felt different, I acted different and I reacted differently than others did. I wanted to be me but felt strange doing so. I was caught in the midst of who I was and who I thought society expected me to be. I became very confused and frustrated because of this. As I developed friendships I could see that some of my friends wanted me to experience life as they did. Granted, there were many things that I was grateful to have experienced through the eyes of others, just as there were things that didn’t sit right with me. If I believed anything would alter my inner peace, I tried to walk away from it or learn why it made me feel uneasy.
I found myself in many situations that I had only my self to blame. I used those situations as stepping stones so I could rise above the weakness and find my strength. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your perspective, I learned my lessons the hard way. One thing about me, I’m not afraid to look in the mirror to see my soul. I see what looks back at me, just as I see my reflection in my critique of others. I also take a glance at how others see me. I learn from it all. Some things take longer than others for me to let go of but eventually, I come to grips with them and free myself of their hold on me. Whatever choices I make are my doing. Nobody is forcing me to do anything I really don’t want to. That leaves the responsibility of choice in my hands. If blame needs to be found, I can only blame myself for that final decision.
I have found myself in painful situations were I sought revenge just so I could mask my pain. Getting revenge hurt me more than the initial pain that caused me to seek revenge. I betrayed myself by stooping to levels that shamed me into reality. I was not a vengeful person but I acted vengefully and jeopardized my character. I learned that my character meant more to me than any amount of revenge could afford. An eye for an eye didn’t leave me feeling better. It made me feel worse. It gave me a temporary power that took away more than it gave. My dignity. I went against myself but found myself through it all. I made peace with my actions and keep them handy as a reminder of what not to do. For me getting even is no longer an option. It never really was.
We all have a desire to retaliate. It’s normal, but it doesn’t change what happened. Confrontation lets a person know where you stand, but it doesn’t always work. I’ve confronted people and I’ve seen them cower in denial or try to turn the cards on me. They know they’re wrong but they are not going to own it. I leave them in Gods hands. He knows what to do. My choice is to rise above them by respecting my own integrity. Besides there’s a certain pleasure in looking at someone and thinking: “you have no idea that I am fully aware of how you tried to take me down. The only reason you’re still standing is because I chose not to take you down. I have enough ammunition to drop an atomic bomb on you and destroy you but I’m better than that. And you’re better than that. You just chose not to be”. Knowing that I have weapons that could destroy, but choosing different measures to save myself, is power in and above itself. Having that form of strength allows my inner peace to remain balanced. Make no mistake, I am neither blind nor ignorant to what goes on in the world around me. I choose to keep my inner sanctum at an even keel. Should the day come that I make a choice to disrupt my inner peace look out. I have an arsenal of weapons that can take out any bombs thrown my way. That kind of power I never want to use.
Your perspective on how I handle situations may be quite different than mine. You may think my methods are foolish. What works for me, may not work for you. That’s okay. In the end, we all have to ask ourselves how our choices left us feeling deep down inside. I rest easy when I know I’ve done the right thing. That’s all that really matters to me. I found the treasure in what I experienced and learned from it, by the choices I made.
In my upcoming blogs, I hope to address other life topics such as happiness, learning to cope using humor and how to survive in marriage. I hope my perception of choice and revenge brought a different perspective to anyone who may battle with how to rise above whatever pain was thrown your way. ️️
Married 44 years to my hubby whose purpose in life is to prevent me from getting through the “Pearly Gates”. Mother of two, Nanna of four loving granddaughters and retired secretary aka administrative assistant. I went to the University of Hard Knocks where I received my Doctorate. My thesis is titled: How To Survive Life’s Trials Without Killing Yourself or Someone Else. I live by the belief that when life throws you a curve, learn from it rather than use it against yourself. Faith and humor are my survival kit. Appreciate the simple things for they are the true treasures of life.