When we hear or say the words I love you, they fill us with joy. We take those words to heart. Hearing and saying them connect us to people. We hold on to those words as an infinite form to measure love from. The concept of love differs from person to person. What do the words I love you actually mean? They mean what ever we want them to mean. They are empty words that we fill with desire and expectation. We put value on the words and place them high on a pedestal. Those words are like a god to us. We hold them in the highest esteem. The minute those words are no longer valid they become words of broken promises. A knife plunged deep into our heart. A wound that may never heal.
These words don’t came with promises. We fill in the blanks with our version of what love means to us. Most of us believe love is everlasting. That’s why we fall to pieces when we no longer feel the validity of those words. The real question is why do we say words we don’t really mean? None of us understand the magnitude of what love is. Love is an expression of giving from the heart with no expectations in mind. It is the ability to sacrifice EVERYTHING for anyone we say those words to. I say I love you a lot and I’ve even sacrificed a few things here and there but sacrificing EVERYTHING? Yeah, I’ll tell you right now, that ain’t happening! I’m not capable of doing it and I’m pretty sure no one would sacrifice everything for me. Nor would I want them too Except for my husband. He’ll regret ever saying those words to me because I hold him to them and torment him with them every chance I get. It’s a wife thing…come on ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about here! Ha, ha. The words I love you make me expect things but that’s a selfish, unrealistic expectation on my part.
The only one that has the ability to love us to its fullest capacity (non-believers cover your eyes) is God. Everyone else is fallible when it comes to love. The best and purest way to experience love is by allowing Gods’ love to work through us, not for us. Showing and receiving that kind of love is in our DNA. Unfortunately, desire and expectation got in its way. (Thanks a lot Eve for screwing it up for us.). We expect too much out of love. Our emotions tend to get in the way, getting the best of us. Sooner or later we’re all gonna feel the sting of those words, so why not avoid saying them and expecting to hear them. Relax, I’m not saying don’t express love, I’m just saying don’t use words that we become liable to. Maybe we need to break the habit of saying I Love You.
What makes us think it’s love anyway? Isn’t it more a feeling of like? Obviously, there is something about a person that we like that draws us to them in the first place. The more we get to like them, the more time we want to spend with them. This is where the words I love you might be thrown in to show we care. The minute the one we profess our eternal love to does something we don’t like, they become subject to us finding fault in them. This makes us lose the desire to be with them. We dismiss those life-altering words as nothing. Why do we place love in an equation without knowing how it will all add up? Liking someone or liking the way we feel around them doesn’t necessarily mean we’re in love with them. It means we enjoy their company. until we don’t. Then we believe it’s okay to move on. Except for one thing. Someone is left in the lurch with broken promises of what love meant to them. We say, I don’t love you anymore, they say obviously, you never did. Devastation sets in and someone wants to die. No one wants to feel unloved. So why do we feel the need to say I love you? Why do we fake love? Why do we have to fall to pieces when a relationship that was built on like ends? There could be a simple solution. Stop saying I love you. Stop saying words and expecting to hear words that are going to find us guilty in the court of relationship hell. A person can handle not being liked much better than they can of not being loved. Sure not being liked can hurt but it doesn’t hurt as much as not feeling loved does. Probably because as I said, love comes with desires and expectations that we have a hard time letting go of.
There’s. a line from the movie Pretty Woman where Vivian and her friend Kit DeLuca say to one another: “Take care of you”. These are powerful words that let someone know that they are important to us. That they matter. These words have more significance than the words I love you. They have no hidden agenda, no fake attachment, no promises that can be thrown back at a persons face. When we say the words: Take care of you, we are letting a person know that their well being matters to us. We see their worth and we want them to benefit from it. We are validating their existence as one with purpose. Take care of you is an expression of love that doesn’t eventually leave us broken. If anything those words can make us feel whole. Even if a person is wearing a facade, we’re letting them know that we see beyond what they’re trying to fake and we want them to focus on being their best. That kind of love and respect for another human being makes them feel loved without risking loss. There’s no faking in telling a person to take care of them self. No one is held responsible other than that person if they don’t take care of themself.
Remember, only the person that looks back at us in the mirror can influence us when it comes to our expectations of what the words I love you represent. I know I am loved by God. I have allowed myself to experience a sampling of His love and I realize no love could ever compare to His. God sends His love to me through people, and I accept what they offer me because I know it comes from God, through them. They don’t have to say they love me in order for me to feel validated. God has already validated His love for me by sending people into my life that say: “Take Care of You”. to me. They let me know I matter. (This is my truth. I’m not trying to inject my faith into anyone). The way I take care of me is by relying on His love. Each of us finds our own ways in life. All that’s left for me to say is: “Take Care of You”.
Married 44 years to my hubby whose purpose in life is to prevent me from getting through the “Pearly Gates”. Mother of two, Nanna of four loving granddaughters and retired secretary aka administrative assistant. I went to the University of Hard Knocks where I received my Doctorate. My thesis is titled: How To Survive Life’s Trials Without Killing Yourself or Someone Else. I live by the belief that when life throws you a curve, learn from it rather than use it against yourself. Faith and humor are my survival kit. Appreciate the simple things for they are the true treasures of life.