Ok, so we started a tradition at The Daily Feels a few years back and I want to open it up to our readers this year. Here’s how it goes…
On January 1st of each year, our bloggers reveal a word for the next year that they want to reflect on. It can be something you want more of, a bad habit you want to break, anything really. The point of the word is to give perspective and growth to an area you want to work on in the coming year. I love it. This tradition was introduced to me by an old friend many years ago.
My friend shared with me their take on this tradition and I want to challenge you to do it in your home this year. On New Year’s Eve, they gather around and one by one, they reveal their word from the past year, how it’s affected them, and what they’ve learned about themselves. Then, they reveal their new word for the upcoming year and why they want to focus on this word.
So, in the spirit of sharing, I’m going to tell you about my word for 2019. You will have to wait until The Daily Feels releases the 2020 words, but I’m quite proud of my growth over this last 365-day tour around the sun. My word for 2019 was FLUIDITY. I am not one for “going with the flow”. You see, I am usually the one that dug out the river bed, created the dam to funnel the water into the river, and have a finger on the button that opens the dam. I am for lack of a better word, a control freak. I am. I said it. In my professional life, this has literally built my career. I am known as the one that sees all angles, strategizes the plan that will maximize results, and I can follow through to completion with precision. Most of the time, I also can do it without being too bossy or overbearing. It’s an art. I like this quality in me. For a long time, I thought it was the only way to be. What’s the point in winging it? You want it to work, don’t you? Hence, you plan. You make a 5-year plan, a bullet point list, and you chip away in a logical order that shows progress and guaranteed, effective results. Are you exhausted yet? I sure was.
However, in my personal life…It’s hard to even confess it. Let’s just say it doesn’t work. At home, we have a busy house. There are usually 5 schedules in motion. None of them align one after the other. They all overlap, intertwine, and just conflict. To avoid going completely mad, I realized I had to learn how to go with the flow. I had to embrace fluidity to enjoy my life. I had to accept that what worked at the office would never work at home. Hence, fluidity became my word for 2019. I was going to learn to separate work vibes from my family vibes. By god, I was going to enjoy it too. That was all I wanted to achieve this year.
The word helped. Every time I would get upset about not being in control of the situation, I would think of the word: fluidity. Go with it. Solve the problems as they come up, but do it with grace and warmth, not rigidity and resentment that it wasn’t exactly as I would have planned it to be. I stand before you a changed woman. I took this challenge seriously. I realized that my need for control came from this constant state of survival mode and a deep-rooted notion that I was only able to rely on myself. I had to really look in the mirror and think about how much I was missing out on in life by not enjoying it as it passes and only feeling comfort if I could see every step ahead.
As humbling as this may sound, it was even more humbling to experience. 2019 brought changes to every structure, system, and timeline I ever envisioned. I had no choice but to roll with it. I couldn’t plan my way out of it. If I was going to elevate in the midst of change, I was going to have to hand the reins over to the proper people on my team and TRUST that I’ve surrounded myself with good people who can hold their own, just like me. I didn’t know it until recently, but me backing off on having all the answers showed me just how badass my team really is. I realized I’ve been adding power hitters to my roster for a long time now. They’ve been watching my diligent discipline to hit my goals. They see me wanting to do it all and often times hitting my mark, but crying myself to sleep from exhaustion. They have also been secretly begging for a chance to step up and help.
Once I learned to embrace fluidity, not force it to flow in a direction I think I can handle, I realized just how fun it is to rush down a river you have no idea where it’s going to end up. One thing you do know, the river wants to flow and there’s a lot of people who deserve to float down it with you if you just relax.
Every year, I look forward to the lessons my new word brings. It’s been very insightful. I haven’t decided my word for 2020 just yet. My therapist said recently that my husband and I have to really envision this ying-yang relationship that has completely flipped. What was once black is now white. What was once white is now black. Our roles at home and at work have just switched, almost overnight. By allowing fluidity into my life, everything from my career to my love life has changed.
Sounds frightening, right? Well, it did at first. Then somewhere around July 19th, 2019…it all started to make sense and instead of feeling like being out of my comfort zone was a nightmare, I just opened up my heart and gave hope a chance. Now, I am so glad I did. I have more love, more compassion, more enjoyment, and just overall happiness. I don’t feel like I have to do it all alone. I don’t doubt my team’s ability to hit their goals and keep their word. I have faith that no matter how rapidly the waters come our way, WE will be ok.
So, with that said…I’d like to challenge you all to join in this tradition. On New Years, just before the ball drops, pick your word and share it with your loved ones and friends. Then write it down and stick it to a mirror, a picture, whatever you look at the most. Take time each day to reflect on the word. Think about what positive changes you can start putting into your normal routine that will give you motivation to change and grow. I promise this will soon become your most heartfelt tradition.
Please feel free to share it with us at The Daily Feels too.
Happy Holidays, Daily Feelers.
JB McCann has worked in “The Biz” for almost a decade, yet she’s somehow managed to keep her feet firmly on the ground. Her altruistic spirit aims to evoke your Inner Phoenix and encourage readers to take the difficult leaps in life, so you can continue to grow.