So much has gone on this summer that it is almost impossible to fully process it all. I write this as I sit inside on a gorgeous Labor Day engulfed in work and writing and trying to keep it all organized. Typically, I’d be in Connecticut with my family sitting by the pool in my mom’s backyard soaking in the final moments of carefree ease that summer delivers. Last month I wrote to you about my love for summer, so it would seem obvious that I of all people would be outside celebrating the glories of summer on its final weekend. Not to worry, I took a beach day yesterday and although I am choosing to work today, I still feel the summer vibe. Remember, I carry it with me all year long. It’s how I choose to connect to the world and people around me. I choose ease and joy and this month I am going to tell you why.
Can you think back to your first adult crush? I say adult because, if you were like me you had multiple crushes as a teenager. I was convinced I’d one day marry George Michael, the lead singer of the band Wham! Don’t worry my broken heart later learned why it was not a possibly and it wasn’t because I was living in a small town in Connecticut and he would never find me. The following months it was Robert Smith (the leader singer of The Cure) and at some point, I am certain Simon Le Bon (the lead singer of Duran Duran) melted my heart. I did have crushes on boys in my class, not just the ones hanging on my bedroom walls who headed up some of the most awesome bands of all time. I love 80’s music! That will never change.
Another thing that will never change is my connection to music, the emotions, the inspiration and motivation that come from listening to music. I have a playlist for all of my life moments. These playlists connect me to my inner self along with the people and places that are a part of who I am. Without the rhythms and poetry shared by the musicians who write them I would not feel the inspiration while I write in this moment, the motivation while out for a run, the joy while cooking dinner or the energy while getting myself ready in the morning. There is song for every mood and a lyric that connects each of us on an extremely human level.
Music is energy created when people connect. The power in human connection is the energy, the wisdom and the strength that comes from it. Each time we meet someone new we get to go through a discovery process that leads us deeper into ourselves. Ironically, we learn the most about ourselves when we are in relationship with others. Our parents, siblings and other family members provide us with the space and the opportunity to practice being social beings as babies. We learn from observing them, making mistakes and bravely engaging with them. Eventually, we branch out, make friends, meet classmates, teammates, co-workers and along the way someone special catches our eye. And if you are like me, they snag your heart.
It’s not always going to be as simple as believing that George Michael is waiting to marry you and take you across the globe. It gets complicated and mess because that is exactly what it means to be human. We are messy creatures full of love, compassion and kindness. It gets messy when we stop focusing on this innate love we instinctually know and suddenly switch our focus to what we fear. Let me explain in the simplest way I know how. You know the feeling you get when you first know you’ve fallen for someone. The feeling of wanting to stay up all night and talk to him or her, not caring about losing sleep, just one hundred percent focused on being with that person, learning about them, giggle over silly things and creating a connection that activates every cell in your body. That aliveness is fun, it motivates and inspires us and is the foundation of most art that is created, especially music.
So, how it is that we can so easily be moved from this love? How is it that we can decide to focus on hating people we don’t even know and at times completely focus on fear? Both fear and hate send our bodies into a fight or flight response which often times leaves us feeling stressed and anxious. Now, think about what happens in your body, mind and spirit when you choose to focus on love. You are able to live full out and experience moments of joy, kindness and peace. If you choose hate and fear, you live by constantly reacting to the world around you. Love comes from within you and guides you according to your truth and knowing. It guides you to happiness and all that is important to you. Hate takes you out of yourself. It causes you to listen to the noise that surrounds you rather than the wisdom from within you.
We all have a tremendous amount of love within us. I mention the feeling you get when you first meet someone because that energy is always there and sometimes it takes someone special to remind us. This is the beauty of being human. We get to connect with one another on a level that moves us mentally, physically and spiritually. We get to experience being seen, heard and valued by and another human being. This is why I choose to focus on human connection. It is powerful. It heals and creates breath taking beauty.
Things are getting busier with the start of school, maybe you’re going back to your office or transitioning into something new, for most this means we will be moving back to a routine if summer provided us with the opportunity to fall out of one. As we make this move, can we make it with love. A love that engulfs us and keeps us up at night with excitement and possibility. A pure and precious love that can heal hate and diminish fear. I know I sound like I haven’t been living on this planet. I have and I have felt every emotion, trust me, I go to the dark places too. I am reminded that the light and the love that exist within is so much more powerful. I am reminded when I look into my children’s eyes, hear the lyrics of a song that connects me to my humanity or experience the excitement of connecting with a special person that love is so damn powerful. It hears, it sees, and it knows exactly who you are and all the greatness within you.
So, go create a playlist (or a mixed tape) and connect with being human and knowing that you are love and light and all that is messy and beautiful at once. With the ease and joy, go out and meet what’s next. It might not be summer all year long, but I promise with the right playlist, it will be fun.
Kristin Asadourian is a leadership coach best known for activating the purpose and wisdom from within her clients. She understands the importance of authenticity and courage on the path to becoming inspired and mindful leaders. Kristin believes bold actions generated by energized leaders with compassionate and open-hearts bring change. She helps her clients create an action plan to move them into values-based leadership, accomplishing their goals, and living fulfilled.
Kristin’s coaching practice is strongly influenced by her work in the public sector as a Senior Field Deputy for the City of Los Angeles, founder of the not for profit Artists for Change, which brings arts education to elementary age children in Los Angeles and the documentary film company, Seeroon Productions. She formed the internationally recognized production company that produced the honored film “Beginning Where the Soviet Ends: A Study of Social Work in Armenia.” Her years as a television and documentary film producer also greatly impact her practice. Kristin learned by interviewing several celebrities during her tenure at E! Entertainment Television that people, famous and not so famous are motivated to generate a positive impact on their communities. A natural speaker and storyteller, she uses her experiences to generate connection and laughter while guiding her audiences to become the leaders and changemakers within them.
Kristin leads workshops for adults and young people along with webinars and live talks. Her curriculum focuses on developing the whole person by building self-awareness and self-confidence. She is currently teaching her BECOME (Bold, Energize, Compassionate, Open-hearted, Mindful, Education) curriculum in Massachusetts and looks forward to growing its reach.
Kristin earned her bachelor’s degree in sociology and multicultural relations from the University of Connecticut and master’s degree in social work from the University of Connecticut School of Social Work. She received her co-active life coaching credential from the Coaches Training Institute and continues to be an active learner in order to be a better coach, mom and human.