As many of you know by now, my life is an open book. If I’ve lived i it, I have no problem cautiously sharing it. Two of the things I enjoy sharing the most are laughter and faith. They are two of the greatest gifts I’ve been given and I try to use them on a daily basis.
At the beginning of this year, as I’ve said in previous posts, I made a pledge to God to surrender things about myself that stood in the way of my focus on Him. Predominantly that meant anything associated with fear and doubt, which exists in all of us. After I committed to this, almost immediately, in fact, I began to receive some pop-up quizzes. I was never good in the testing department on a scholastic level but on a spiritual level, I’d say I’m a c- student. I think God, my Teacher, is prodding me to become an A+ student. I keep telling Him I’m a poor student but He keeps assuring me that with His help, I could get on His Deans list. He’s got His work cut out for Him. lol
Because I travel to the beat of my own drum, my personal mission has been to place faith above fear. Fear has always ranked high in my life with faith trying to knock it out and take its place.
Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew God was taking me down a new path where uncertainty and faith would have to cross paths. As I said, God sent me pop up quizzes like when our car skid out of control and was overturning, to the pandemic, to the electric wire that was swinging toward my house. Through all of that, I heard God say: Do you trust me? I remember saying yes each time but II must have also said, “God, I trust You with my life’. I said that because.whenever I’ve handed the reigns over, God blessed me above and beyond what I could hope for.
Well, because in a moment of faith I must have made the declaration of trusting God with “my life” I believe He took me up on it. Over the past few days (which by the way I knew I was being prepared for so it didn’t take me by surprise) I have been diagnosed with an endometrial cancer that has attached itself to my abdominal core muscle. It is a very uncommon place for a cancer to attach itself. Only 5% cases. Does it surprise me that I would get this uncommon placement for a tumor to grow? Not in the least. Do I trust in Gods plan for me? Yes I do! Am I scared? I’m human. The human part of me is scared shitless. The spiritual side of me is at an amazing peace and the emotional part of me is concerned.
Despite the fear that is trying to hold on for dear life, I have every confidence that. God would not lead me anywhere that He wouldn’t walk with me. Whatever it is that He’s asking of me, I am surrendering my fear to Him. Only God knows where this path will lead, so my trust is with Him.
That human part of me is a baby when it comes to pain. I don’t like it. I don’t like showing my pain and I don’t want to become a burden to anyone because of possible physical complications. The surgery will be the old fashioned way. The doctor told me he’d put me back together. I told him while he was putting me back together he could leave out about 100 pounds of fat. Hey, a free tummy tuck as part of the deal. Who could say no to that? lol. Besides, a friend told me that her brother donated his fat to help other patients. If my fat is healthy use it. I always knew I was fat for a reason. Who knew this was the reason. lol
The emotional part of me is concerned about my family and loved ones. Some of them struggle with faith as it is, I don’t want this part of my journey to discourage any of them from trusting in God. That would literally kill me if my personal mission of bringing faith to life brought people away from God. I also want my granddaughters who are at crucial times in developing a trusting and secure relationship with God not to fear His ways.
The spiritual part of me is relaxing under the tree, with Jesus at my side. I have been watching from the peacefulness of that tree as God does what He does best. He has mapped my life out perfectly. From hand picking my doctors as He hand picked everyone of you that He’s placed in my life) to choosing my favorite time of year for me to shed my leaves of fear so that I can emerge with a.fresh renewal of what faith in God is all about. How appropriate.
Sitting under that tree with Jesus, has shown me why God put you all in my life. I’ve learned. and continue to learn so much through you that I am humbled and grateful that God chose as He did. I’m always in awe of how God works. He’s connected me to so many of you through Facebook. Many of you were just faces to me that I never really knew. Others came back into my life and others were casual acquaintances that became part of my soul. I absorb what you offer and take in the best of what you give. Some of ya’ll got some serious anger issues though when it comes to the world of politics. You got to relax and let God handle it. However this election goes God knows what needs to be done. Trust in His ways. Be patient. It’s all part of Gods plan for our betterment.
The way God had been preparing me for my upcoming surgery, He has been preparing us all for the worlds surgery. In our lifetime He gave us an emergency call on 9/11. Our world was in danger and needed healing. Most took the call and responded quickly and tirelessly. We watched as healing began to take place but a tiny particle of the cancerous growth that we thought was being removed lingered around and attached itself to our core. As time went on we became complacent while that cancer decided to grow unbeknownst to us. God knew what was festering. He gave us warning signs, insight if you will. Many of us got caught up in life so we paid little attention to Gods warnings. God knew that, so he decided to make 2020 a year of clear vision. That cancerous growth wants to attach itself to our vital organs so it can claim victory. I believe that God wants to save all His children. He is giving us an opportunity to get a clearer vision of life through His eyes. Not societies, not the political world and not through the celebrity world. Those are all created by man. God wants us to really see and appreciate what He is all about.
I am putting my trust in God with my life and with life in general. I’m hoping everyone will join in by using 2020 as a surgical tool to remove any unhealthy growths that are trying to alter Gods plans for you. As I get ready to embark on my surgical expedition, I will go under with God at my side and you and the world in my heart. My surgery will be my gift of faith to God for healing . I offer it up. As far as the pain aspect, well God and I are still in litigation about that. I’d like to win this case pain free.. He’s granted me that grace each time I’ve had surgery. They’ve always been pain free. I hope He continues to bless me that way. While I’d like to offer up pain I’m not sure I’m willing. I told you, when it comes to pain I’m a human chicken. lol
If you don’t mind, I’d welcome all the prayers you’d offer for my physical strength and for the emotional strength and spiritual growth of my family. Studdly’s Faith is not as strong as mine so my court jester is worried about his queen. I assured him I’m not ready to abdicate just yet. If it is taken from me, I will hand pick my successor. I’ve seen his picks and they were not good. lol. He knows if I don’t approve that I’ll come back and haunt him for the rest of his life which is why I think he really prays for my healing. I terrify him in my own charming way.
Thanks for listening, for all the prayers, and special thanks to all the angels that have been God’s little messengers over the past several weeks. I am in the best hands possible and I know that my best interest is what is in God’s plan for me. You all are my inspiration. Keep laughter going and keep faith as your primary goal. It’s our most important treasure. ️
Married 44 years to my hubby whose purpose in life is to prevent me from getting through the “Pearly Gates”. Mother of two, Nanna of four loving granddaughters and retired secretary aka administrative assistant. I went to the University of Hard Knocks where I received my Doctorate. My thesis is titled: How To Survive Life’s Trials Without Killing Yourself or Someone Else. I live by the belief that when life throws you a curve, learn from it rather than use it against yourself. Faith and humor are my survival kit. Appreciate the simple things for they are the true treasures of life.