My son #CMK turns ten tomorrow and for the past few weeks, I’ve been so nostalgic about his life to now. It isn’t like these ten years flew by, but there have been so many moments on our journey to ten.
I recall feeling particularly jubilant about my very first Mother’s Day. The mere fact that I made it to this place identified that it has indeed been a destination of sorts for me. I always knew in my spirit that I was destined to become a mom, but when life happens, you are never quite sure if the dream will inevitably become a reality.
The birth of my first and only child has made me more emotionally available. It has made my life purposeful because the intent with every action is motivated by a deep, unconditional love. What I can say is I’ve become very warm and fuzzy. The mere thought of him makes me smile – but to be clear, I this continues to be a journey. There will be peaks and valleys, highs and lows, but I am indeed continuing to embrace it all.
As all the firsts that were so vitally important, I realized early on there would always be firsts of many things. First time I held him to the first time I watched him take flight on his bike as a big boy. Listening to his now rising fifth grade thought process inspires me to keep talking to him. Witnessing his eyes light up when he is enjoying a movie, a moment, a conversation. But also talking through the times when he has felt left out with friends and when he is disappointed. Or when my emotional cancer baby is sitting in his feelings and he can’t find the words, yet with tears welling up in his eyes. It is just all the things as he continues to push, explore and express his independence. It is a part of the seasons of growth and transition.
I’ve taken thousands of pictures to commemorate these experiences. It’s something I anchor us in because when I’m gone and he can’t quite recall the exact thing, rest assured, Mom probably has a picture archived. From Winnie The Pooh to ninja Halloween costumes. Big brick Legos to intricate Lego sets above his age. Birthday parties to basketball games, airplanes to private boating excursions, my kid has lived a full life before double digits in ways that I didn’t experience until years later. He is BLESSED, and I wouldn’t trade any of it. In my reflections as I was looking through the thousands of pictures and hundreds of memory keepsakes, I also rediscovered a piece I wrote four months before his birth. Cue emotional water-works for me.
Everything I noted 10 years ago, are still my prayers and desires for him now. I see where love continues to sit squarely at the center of my relationship with him. I respect that as we enter this next tween phase, there will be more dynamics in play where our foundation and family values will play a role continuing to shape his decision making. Who said this parenting thing would be easy – no one, but I do look forward to it being the most rewarding experience of my adult life.
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LETTER TO MY UNBORN SON
I knew a time would come when the love your father and I share would create a life.
A time where we would unselfishly seek to deposit the best of us into another being.
The irony of that time being now is – I have no idea who YOU will eventually become.
I want for you to know and develop your own relationship with our Father, his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
I want you to be smart, respectful and witty.
I desire for you to be introspective and transparent, but most of all accountable.
I want your character to reflect truth, integrity and authenticity.
Perhaps be a follower and observer, but only to grow into an independent thinker.
I pray that your legacy will be one of greatness.
A legacy that honors not only your father and I, but one that you will be unabashedly unafraid to create and live to the fullest for yourself.
I know you will have a full life filled with mountains high and valleys low.
And through it all, I will encourage you to walk by faith and not by sight.
I want a lot FOR you and FROM you
But I want these things BECAUSE of you.
Because the journey will be uniquely your own to make choices.
We’ll be there to guide you, but we will let you fall.
It’s so important that you learn early to live life on levels and arrive in stages.
Nothing is ever going to be handed to you, and the sooner we can teach you to appreciate all that life is and all that it isn’t,
The sooner you will begin to lovingly embrace it for yourself.
That’s the reason why your name is so special.
And it was chosen especially for you.
So that you never forget where you come from, or where you are going…
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While the world is far bigger than material things, my husband and I seek to provide #CMK with experiences. Shaping his global view of humanity is important in order for him to develop into an extraordinary human who contributes greatly to the world. He is indeed an empath already. His teachers and camp counselors consistently describe him as kind, thoughtful and smart. To be honest, even throughout 2020 when I experienced his curiosity pique about race, police brutality and the pandemic, we also leaned in to the realms of #BlackBoyJoy. We made sure to cover his questions with answers, his heart with love and fuel his spirit with peace.
I continue to be divinely inspired to put my best foot forward in everything I do in order to create a world for my young king. Our village is full of creative, passionate and thoughtful people and my prayer is that he will one day know the all guidance and preparation is all to ensure the successful navigation of live on his own. It continues to be my honor to be his Mommy and I don’t take the responsibility lightly. HAPPY #CMK10. Mommy loves you with all my heart – always and forever.
KK is an energetic storyteller, creative marketer and servant leader with a kaleidoscope of professional pathways in music, print publishing and television. Currently, KK is a marketing executive at a major media company. Faith and family anchor KK’s ambitions, and she believes Luke 12:48 hold true, “from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” KK leverages her gifts, talents and abilities in support of advancing others, particularly in motivating her 9 year old son CMK.
Passionate about education and inclusion, KK is a graduate of New York University with a MS, Integrated Marketing and she supports her undergrad alma-mater Wesleyan University with dual, alumni volunteer leadership roles. As a Trustee on the Oliver Scholars board, preparing high-achieving African-American and Latino students for academic success is a priority. Through her writing and in her relationships, KK continues to unpack and explore life transformations the only way she knows how – with unconditional love, raw honesty and a touch of humor.