Hey, Feelers! Hope you’re having a great summer. I know I’ve touched on this topic in earlier blogs, but it’s been hitting home lately, and I want to share it again…
You know what I’ve learned? That everything in life is temporary- BUT also that it’s so easy to panic when something bad happens. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I immediately thought, Holy shit- I can’t believe this is happening to me- I’m going to die- what about my daughter– the list goes on and on. My father then said, “Think of this like a road bump in your life. You’ll go over it, and then you’ll move on.” At the time I thought, F- this- it’s horrible and I’m never getting through it, etc., but here I am, 4 years later and still cancer-free. I let myself panic and feel everything that I needed to, and then I just pulled myself up, got through each thing one at a time, and went forward.
So often we feel the need to be strong all the time. It’s not necessary. You can feel: uninspired, lost, sad, angry, anxious, lonely, etc. It’s also okay to change your mind, if something’s not working, you can start a different path in life, you can break up with someone if the relationship isn’t healthy or working out, you can move if you’re not happy where you’re living. People often resist the “bad” feelings, because they think they have to rough it out and be strong, or alternatively- they can’t stand feeling bad, so they do something to feel better, even if it’s extreme or dangerous. All feelings are normal, even though we’ve been conditioned to think otherwise.
It’s natural not to want to feel bad so we think we have to do something to get rid of the bad feeling: Over-eating, drinking too much, getting high, taking too many pills are a few examples. Anything to NOT feel bad. But it’s okay to feel bad if something bad happens- you don’t need to comfort yourself in the immediate time to get rid of the feeling. Feel it, sit with it- but then get up and move on. It’s hard to do that, and uncomfortable a lot of the time, but it’s critical. Do it.
I leave you with a collage of meaning to me, perhaps to you as well.
Be good to each other. Love to each of you.
Jennifer Angarano Ricci is a wife, mother & creative soul-searcher. She is a musician, artist, and baker, and runs her home business Baked By Jen, in addition to running her local community theater group. She loves to sing, create and help others and tries to connect all three passions whenever possible.