This month I am choosing to sit in front of my computer at 10:00 p.m. to write. The decision to do so is based on choices I made throughout the weekend and days prior. There is definitely a trickle-down effect when it comes to choices. One always leads to another and then another and…. You get what I am trying to say. Things can spiral quickly, and we can feel a loss of control if our choices are not based in awareness or a certain level of consciousness. Moving slowly and deliberately is a challenge at times. I chose to start painting the interior of my house just before Thanksgiving. As off the wall as painting during the holiday season sounds, I feel empowered. I have been waiting and got tired of waiting for someone to show up to paint, so I chose to do it myself. It looks amazing and I am even happier because I took action. Within choice power and action exist in a way most of us dismiss or perhaps don’t fully understand.
I don’t believe action exists only to get things done and achieve whatever it is you decide. I believe there is a more spiritual connection to the choices we make and the actions that follow. A purpose beyond what we see in front of us. Yes, choosing to complete the projects around our homes, staying on top of our game at work, and opting for time with friends and family are all great things to check off the list. Sometimes these checks can simply feel like going through the motions. Living for the appearance of having our shit together and maintaining a sense of good enough.
You all know “good enough”, right? If somehow in your adult life you have not run into “good enough”, haven’t had a sit-down, or lay down based on choices dictated by “good enough” you are truly my hero. Avoiding this state of exhaustion and depletion is hard when you are out in the world adulting. Think about it for a minute. You are juggling a job, raising children, showing up for others, and sustaining a series of other interests and hobbies to feel fulfilled, you become drained and are simply okay with “good enough.” So, how do we move past complacency and awake to the fact that sometimes we are settling and selling ourselves short?
Awareness is the answer. When we realize we have the power of choice the world looks and feels different. Knowing ourselves, what we value and what’s important keeps us grounded. It provides us with a home base, so when “good enough” shows up we can bat it out into left field or better yet over the Green Monster (yes, a Fenway Park reference). The awareness is empowering and provides certainty in a world full of uncertainty. When we doubt ourselves, our belief system, or our values we begin to move solely for the sake of moving. This movement lacks meaning or purpose, so “good enough” easily sneaks in and convinces us to close our eyes and trust something with no significance or foundation. We cannot see what is in front of us. Learning to trust ourselves and allowing our inner wisdom (our light) to guide us will uncover our purpose and provide us with the certainty we need. “Good enough” shows up when we allow fear, complacency, and excuses to take over. It is sneaky and leaves us unconscious from a sharp blow to the gut or the head or both when not on guard. Consider this a friendly warning.
When we are able to keep our eyes, hearts, and minds open the awareness comes and we learn a great deal about what we want and don’t want in our lives. We get to experience what is true for us and gain a beautiful sense of control, meaning, and ultimately purpose. This is a spiritual journey because it involves our minds, bodies, and hearts and requires us to remain open and experience everyone and everything with love. Trusting in the love we innately carry always leads to a great sense of peace and an overwhelming feeling of joy.
So, when I write to you about choice, I am not just writing about the power released once the choice is made. I am also writing about the power that calls forth the choice. The knowing and certainty of who you are as a human being walking this planet and believing you deserve to make choices based on your truth. Sometimes these choices lead to incredible actions and outcomes and sometimes it’s the inaction and lack of outcome that brings great learning. Whatever you choose, do so with self-awareness and confidently know sometimes it’s going to be messy and uncomfortable. Powerful choices come from boldly embracing what is hard. Sometimes we are going to trip, get stuck or fall, and no one is going to show up to pick us up. The love in our hearts and the aliveness inside of us is all that is certain. They are always available for us. No knight in shining armor or wonder woman is going to save us from making and experiencing our choices. My choices have me up writing to you way past my bedtime, but the peace and joy I feel from being able to show up for you empowers me and allows me to own my choices. When you feel like wonder woman, there’s no need to wait for her to show up.
Kristin Asadourian is a personal development and leadership coach. Her coaching practice is strongly influenced by her work as a social worker and a community organizer, which taught her the importance of community, compassion and confidence.
She is the founder of Living Become, LLC an organization focused on delivering workshops, educational materials and keynotes to empower all people, KA Coach, a confidence and leadership building business, the Los Angeles based arts education not for profit, Artists for Change, and the documentary film company, Seeroon Productions which produced the internationally recognized film, “Beginning Where the Soviet Ends: A Study of Social Work in Armenia.
Kristin works to inspire people to live their true potential. She can be found living her truth guiding young people and adults through leadership workshops, coaching individuals and small groups, speaking on building self-awareness and self-confidence, out for long bike rides, on the trials for a run and making messes with her two children and their goldendoodle.